Harder than it has to be........

This morning I wake up and realize that I have been a little all over the place with my devotional, and I find that when im all over the place with my devotional my life is all over the place. The same with my tithing and everything else. I believe that I am made from God's image and am an extension of his love and spirit, and since his spirit lives within us, if we are raggedy with the way we devote our lives to him, then we are also neglecting the spirit that lives within us and our lives reflect the neglect. So this morning i'm looking around the net for some new fun and exciting devotionals on friendly Christian websites and I run across a few that turn my stomach and I become sick of Christianity all over again for a few minutes, then I realize, I am not on the other side of the wall judging Christians anymore, I am very much a Christian and I have a responsibility now.
So I prayed God lead me to a devotional, lead me to a place that will enlighten me, and he loudly said "For what, you are enlightened, why don;t you write something to enlighten someone else child!!"

So there that is and here we are. God then told me to pick up his words in the bible and start reading, I no longer need someone else's daily interpretation of the scripture for food, I only need God's truth and it's time for me to pour into someone else with his spiritual enlightenment over his own words, simply dictated by me.

Judges 12:29-39(I urge you to read it yourself)
This is the story of Jephthath, who the Lord helped to defeat the Ammonites. Jephthath was so overjoyed he said to the Lord "Lord, thank you and because you helped me win, I will sacrifice the first thing that comes out of my house." He went home and his daughter was the first thing that comes out of his house, he immediately realizes how stupid he was and now he has to keep his promise and his daughter being the sweetheart she was just told him "Hey a promise is a promise." So he sacrificed his virgin daughter who never married.

Matthew 14:28-31
This is the famous "Peter walks on water" story. This guy sees Jesus in the boat and says, "If it's really you then tell me to come to you and I will walk on water to come to you" Jesus says "Come" Peter starts walking on the water, then gets scared and he sinks. Then Jesus has to save him.

Here is the deal. Why, once we become believers do we feel the need to do selfish great things for God. God wants us to please him not be suck-ups. There is no "teachers pet" in the school of the kingdom. In these stories there are two things in common. 1. God nor Jesus asked either of these men to sacrifice their daughter or walk on water. 2. They both regretted their decision when it came down to crunch time.

I believe that they were trying so hard to show God they believed in him, that they didn't remember that they don't need to prove anything to God, he just wants their love, faith and service, and he already knows when he has it. You live that fully with your life, not by turning back flips, because at the end of the day your back flips didn’t feed homeless children nor did it bring anyone to Christ, nor did it really even please God because it was unnecessary and wasted time, energy and misplaced faith.

In the story of Jephthath, you don't read anything about God's response, this story was completely taken out of the relational element of God and his appointed leader, and completely focused on Jephthath and his daughter, and I believe it's because God was like "I’m not in it" "I didn't ask that man to do that." That man was not happy, his daughter died unmarried, and her friends had to mourn, and after that the bible moves on to another story. It doesn't have that last sentence that says "And God honored and blessed him for life, the end happy happy joy joy" No, God just kept it moving as usual, because this was not a story of obedience to God this was making a cocky promise and having to keep it. God is not like one of those made up god's that the Israelites were worshiping, sacrificing your kid would have made God no different than worshiping Baal, and God was trying to avoid that, but Jephthath was so caught up in that fly flashy style of worship that he brought that over into his relationship with the Lord and he lost his daughter for no reason. God does not need you to repay him, your service is already done by obeying him, then the fruits and blessings of your life are a testament to his love and the work is already done!

In the story of Peter, Jesus only wanted him to believe and obey him, but Peter wanted to test Jesus and do something cool, so Jesus obliged him and I believe it was just to teach him a lesson. The boy had a ridiculously low amount of faith, and Jesus doesn't need to prove anything, but Peter would have continued to test Jesus had he not almost drowned. See Faith is not asking God for a test so you can pass it and prove you have it, faith is living everyday obeying the spirit without any pit stop check ins to see if God is still there with you!! He is, always, and forever, you don't need to check on him, test him or have him test you. So not only did Peter sink when he got scared, but then Jesus fussed at him when he had to come save him. Jesus said "Why did you doubt". I don't believe he was talking about him getting scared and falling in, but from the very beginning, why did you have to even go through all of this to begin with because of your doubt.

Believe me guys, we don’t want to waste our faith and energy on useless made up tests and feats "in the name of God". Trust me the test will come and you don't want to be so insecure because you failed a test you didn't even have to take and you sacrificed something that he wasn't asking you to sacrifice and you sunk to the bottom on a river he didn't ask you to even cross, that you choke when God asks you to pass a test. You need to be living so closely with the Holy Spirit that when that day comes you pass with flying colors because he will carry you over and above that test, because you will have faith because you will know it's his voice calling out the questions and his voice giving you the answers.

Don't make it harder than it has to be!

Mirror to God

I am feeding off this sick and twisted, masochistic feeling of liking this...

Self inflicted cuts and bruises scars and scrapes and burns.

Soul Damage

He knows how to rake me in and tell me that I love every minute

That's how I know that I'm alive.

But my keeper weeps and heals me with his tears

He carries me and he calms all my fears

He loves despite and he's the only one that can

Cuz he's perfect and he is not a man

My keeper cries and I try hard to understand

Why do I lie to myself and unto him

Why do I try so hard to map out my own plan

When his is so perfect…and he is not a man.

I am living off this self indulgent expose' of what I call a testimony

I genuinely cannot find that bold and bright invisible line of what's the truth And all his lies

When comes the time to disconnect and feel far from God but in his respect

Im closer than ever before I

know my keeper knows what's best and I should listen

But I fear that what I hear sometimes is not him

And if I'm his only then the voice I hear should be distinctly his

Cuz it's perfect and it sounds not like a man

My keeper screams at a pitch that could break this mirror

But I keep looking into it although it distorts my figure

I just want something with texture to hold on to just to know you

Cuz you're perfect, and I want to feel you