Standing at the crossroads.(How to follow God's will)

Jeremiah 6:16 says, "And the Lord says, Stand at the place where the roads cross, ask where the old way is and ask where the good way is and walk it. If you walk the good way you will find rest for yourselves."

For anyone like myself that is constantly asking "How do you hear God?" or "How do I know what God's will for my life is?" or "How do I know what God wants me to do in this situation?" The answer is right there in Jeremiah 6:16. Just ask him what the old way is and what's the good way and take the good way.

The road we are walking as Christians is not a highway my friends, this is a straight up neighborhood with cross streets every 1/4th of a mile or so. It's like traveling downtown, and you have to stay on Main ST. the whole time. You can't get tempted to go down Travis. And it's difficult because sometimes it seems like it's so many gray areas. This is where that scripture comes in handy.

For all those like myself who are fairly new to this completely dedicated way of following Christ, and which most of us are, because even those of us who were raised in the church, have lived a life completely opposite of the life God has wanted for us, so we are fairly new to intentionally attempting to do this the right way. So again for all of you who are like myself and new in this whole situation, you will start to notice that God will spin your life into reverse cycles, and give you a chance to be in similar situations but make better choices and decisions. Look at your situation that you are in right now, and examine the patterns. I guarantee it looks very excruciatingly similar to one or more previous situations.

Then ask God, "Lord what is the old way, how did I handle this in the past, what choice would I have made before knowing you?" After that the answer should be obvious, run straight and do the complete opposite of what you did before, because if the situation is coming up again in your life, it's probably because you did not do it right the first time. Think about it. These patterns happen in our lives because we don't really learn our lessons, our hearts have to change after a situation, not just our minds. If your heart changes you won't let that pattern come up again because you will be in a place where that pattern is not.

Guys and Dolls, if you are constantly creating the same types of friendships or relationships with people, you will end up at some point at a crossroads similar to ones before where you have to make a decision that will change things and it will be so uncomfortable, or leave things as is, which will be comfortable for the time being, but it will be one plush walk straight to the torture chamber.

If your affinity for money keeps bringing you into similar situations where you will ultimately have to make high risk decisions that seem to be unstable or unethical for instant gratification, you might want to choose the path that you would not have chosen before. You know the one that doesn't get you caught in a a get rich quick scheme that leaves you and your family in debt. Or the one that doesn't involve you sitting at a slot machine feeding your cash into a metal box.

If your horrible communication skills and guarded heart causes you to ruin potentially great friendships and relationships, and you are brought to the same crossroads where it's either talk it out with complete honesty or allow preconceived notions to affect your actions, then choose the opposite of what you would normally do and watch your life blossom

Or the opposite, if you are like me you wear your heart on your sleeves and feed your emotions out like an ATM. Try turning it over to God and allowing him to work things out and change hearts, don't try to throw a curve ball at people with your honesty with the intentions of manipulating situations based off of your emotions.

Well good kind people I'm out, gotta make the choice to have a productive day!!

Cherbear

He who finds a virtuous woman!!

Hey all, I know that it has been a while, but I write when God moves, it has nothing to do with me. I would rather write everyday and while God is apparent in my life everyday, he does not ask me to journal and blog to you everyday. I obey when I am sure he is sending a message.

First, this was inspired by 3 things 2 of which are coincidental, one of which did not apply until after the 2 coincidences brought these truths together. A few days ago, a friend and I were having a conversation about ending consecrations and what is to come after. I voiced my thoughts that I had previous to my growth. I thought I would end up in a previous situation again after I got it right with the LORD!! Yes Yes! Well my friend did not hestitate to voice their opinion. "I do not understand, you ladies are amazing women, but these "dudes" you guys choose, I don't get it. I have to believe it's just something that i can't see!"

I thought about it for a second, and then responded with this," After each relationship you enter without God, you lose a few more standards and you gain a few more insecurities. After a while your prefences are shot to hell and by then you just want a nice guy, a guy that was better than the last." Well that happened and the conversation ceased. However I have to reopen the case for discussion.

Second, a few days before that I stayed home one evening to read Proverbs 31, the famous "Virtuous Woman". I decided to study this and apply. Well shortly after My wonderful discipler said "Noooo don't do that, this book I am having you guys read is about it, it's sheds a light on it, so you won;t feel overwhelmed." So I obtained the booklet and started working on it. Well this very morning I started with Day 2, and it taught me that we should not remember and dwell on our sins, forget the past and move forward, the truth is that we are virtuous women, and the lies are that we must live in guilt and condemnation." We should not let Satan make us live in failure and shortcomings everyday, we just have to pick ourselves up and say "Hey I am a virtuous woman, thank you Lord for forgiving me and now I have to see myself as you see me and keep it moving."

Now they all come together.

Dear Friend,

The reason we as human beings end up in relationships that are not befitting of who we are in Christ is because we don't see ourselves as who we are in Christ. We live in the guilt and condemnation of our past relationships and we see ourselves as the mutated souls that appear in the mirrors that Satan holds up to us. We compare our choices to the last choice instead of comparing our choices to who God is and who we are in God. Everytime something fails we should look to the next opportunity in comparison to Jesus. We are righteous in the blood of our saviour. The truth is we are shopping for better threads in the same thrift store when God wants to give us the finest materials from the finest shops. (No disrespect to thrift stores, this is completely analogical, I looove Buffalo Exchange) But I digress. Anyway my friend the truth is we choose based off of what we think we deserve based on our past failures when God wants to give us BETTER and MORE than we deserve based off of who he sees us as in Christ. We just get it wrong and that's the bottom line.We have to live in the kingdom and ditch our own preferences and while God provides choices to us from the kingdom, our only responsibility is to connect with the person that is kindred to us, the person that could very well share the same soul. The person that gets our humor, our personality, our moods, our quirks. But they must come from the kingdom, nothing else will do. We almost must not look at our past or theirs as God has forgiven them and does not see them based on their past shortcomings, and he does not see us that way either. He sees us as virtuous women and men of God, we just need to allow God to bring us the person who sees THEMSELVES that way, then we know we found something. So my dear, insightful friend, the truth is not that we see something that you can't see, you see us in truth while we see ourselves in lies. You see us as virtuous women, and we ouselves in the mirror that Satan puts in front of us. You see that we can have much better choices, and we choose to make choices that are just a little bit better than the last, which always leaves us in a grave of condemnation and shame. Thank you for playing your part in God's message as the missionary that you are!

In Love Cherbear!

Spiritual Eating Disorders

Well I never shamlessly plug things in my blogstyle emails, but today I am going to make a little plug, there is a website called www.settingcaptivesfree.com and on this wonderful website they are providing 60-90 day courses for free of course to help you kick bad habits and addictions from drugs, to food and all in between. I am currently on "The Lord's Table" course and I must say I am enjoying it, it's really helping me deal with my issues with bad eating habits and confusion etc.

Well, yesterday during my day 6 bible study they asked me if I knew the two types of food and I said yes spiritual and physical, then they went into feeding your spiritual body and I just had an epiphany, OH MY GAWWWD!! I am totally dealing with a spiritual eating disorder. I mean I wake up every morning with the thought that I must have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and through life I have become so in tune with my physical body that I know when im hungry through hunger pangs and nausea and tiredness, light headedness and a whole slew of symptoms. Now, then I realized I have no idea when my spiritual body is hungry, I am so out of tune with it that I don't feel the spiritual hunger pangs (yes it's actually pangs), I have become completely numb to knowing when I need to eat the spiritual fruit. Spiritual Anorexia maybe? I am so used to starving my poor spiritual body and that I don't even feel when i'm hungry anymore. It's sick guys really it is.

What about Spiritual bulemia? Does it exist? I believe so, I believe you can go without eating, completely binge on the word on sunday, and throw it right back up as soon as you leave the church only tasting the sweetness of the fruit but not actually allowing it to nourish your soul, because God forbid you start gaining spiritual weight, otherwise known as conviction for your wrong doings. We hate to feel spiritually full and fat because it does not feel right so we fill up on the word in the presence of others and then get it out of our systems as soon as we can so we don't have to gain any responsibility for the lifestyles we choose to live. Yes, I do believe spiritual bulemia exists.

Let's bring it to the other side of bad eating ideals, the crash dieters. Are you one? Am I one? Maybe. Always searching for God in the quickest fix you can get him in. "I need to get right, and I need to get right now" "I want to see the fruits quickly so here is 10% hell take 20%" "Oh what's that seek ye the kingom of God first and what............" "Hey God, I am here I am seeking you can I please have that wonderful job car and husband or wife so I can go back to normal" Or we start searching all other types of religions, whatever will come with a warranty "Peace, happiness, confidence, prosperity, or your money back". And as soon as you stop sending in those payments, or doing your chants you start to regain all that baggage, all that weight, all that debt right back into your life. Don't we know that really just holding God's freaking hand and sitting down to the table with him and eating the food he prepares will give you peace eternally? God said that everything he gives us is good to eat so eat it and stop worrying about what each diet tells you to and not to do because if it came from his hands it is good and it will nourish.

Ya'll I want so badly to wake up every morning and say, "God let's have breakfast." Then go to work and do whatever i'm doing and take a break and say "God take me to lunch." Then before bed as im winding down and letting go of the day and settling in say "God what have you prepared for dinner." I want to feel like I am going to pass out when I do not eat God's word, I want a healthy spiritual body with near perfect measurments and a new wardrobe to match. I dont want some crash diet I want to change my life.

"It's not a diet.....It's a lifestyle"

Cherbear

Triggers Sensors Character Flaws.........Gliches in the System

Who am I? How many times in life are we going to ask ourselves that question and how many countless numbers of times will that answer change. The best question to ask yourself is who am I today? That way we can answer the question and go on about our day living in a way that's conducive to who we decide to be that day in that moment to fulfill completely who we think we are.

What is the difference between perpetrating a fraudulent lifestyle based on what we have seen others do, and being naturally who we are based on a combination of learned behaviors as a child and natural responses based on our God given personality?Where do we draw the line? I believe God gave us sensors natural sensors that are prone to pick up on and lean towards certain traits, and if handled incorrectly those traits can become negative or known as a character flaw and when picked up on and driven towards a God lain path those traits can become so simply put as just plain character.

How will we know what we have passions for if we have never seen things done, how would we know what we like and dislike if we can't put a face to how we feel. God's imagination is infinite but ours is limited, and we have to realize that lot's of times he puts people and situations in our lives to trigger those sensors that he gave us and allow us to have a small clue of who we might be based on how we feel in those moments. I always say "What we do is not indicative of who we are but of how we feel and what we know" to add to that I believe that how we feel is indicative of who we are.

This is why we must know God because only he can interpret correctly the situations and people that he places into our lives. When we try and interpret and process things on our own we get the language all wrong and we start to become as Marlon would say "A mutation" of who we are meant to be. Some of us may be meant to go out into the world and change it, and the world is harsh so maybe he puts us through the spiritual boot camp allowing us to be broken down and built back up and broken down and built back up, making us outgoing, outspoken, unafraid, corky, corny, crazy, just to be able to cope with world and all that comes with it. Some of us may be meant to sustain god's kingdom for the new people that are brought to it, so he makes us calm, cool ,collected, balanced, sometimes a little boring, distinguished, analytical, growing up in a life that may just lack excitement, and drama, a life to where you may never see a rock bottom, but it's okay because maybe that's what you need to keep a clear head to keep his kingdom at peace to keep his laws organized to be able to relay the stories of his glory the way he inteded them to be retold.

But if we never seek the kingdom of God then outspoken becomes a jerk, outgoing and free spirited gets ruled by sex and drugs and your emotions get eaten up, corky and corny just becomes weird and distorted, and crazy becomes harmful. If we never seek the kingdom calm and cool headed becomes unemotional and robotic, even hard to relate to.

We are all misunderstood because we first misunderstand God's language when we try and interpret it ourselves. Then we get so wrapped up that we can't even translate our own emotions to better represent who we really are. So what now?

God's Love and Vodka on the Rocks

Gods love and vodka on the rocks please?"

Why do we feel compelled to measure love with a touch, an action or
series of actions? Why do we first place guidelines on love for one
another then use that as an excuse of why it's so hard to accept
"God's way of love"?

Can we truly embrace God's love in and of itself and then change and
form our way of loving one another to be more in line with real love?
I compare love to cranberry juice we start off with a very cran-grape
idea of what love is. Somewhere along life it turns to a cran-vodka
with bitterness for love and a lack of understanding for it's true
nutritional value so we poison it just to become intoxicated, "but
let's throw a little love in the mix to make the poison go down
easier" (sex). Or it turns to a cranberry juice cocktail, its sweet
enough to take down but bitter enough to make us feel like we really
get the benefits. But no it's still from concentrate and really if 20
percent is real juice/love then what is the rest? The rest is a
concation of taste good that appeals to our personal senses that makes
us feel like it's ok to drink down. Have u ever had real cranberry
juice 100 percent cranberry juice? That would be God's love and its
so hard to swallow when you are used to cran-grape, vodka, cocktail.
So you get a sip and u turn away because u don't know if u can handle
it. What if our tastebuds were always used to the pure juice, we
wouldn't have tastebuds for the cocktail. We would not dare poison it.
We would not add sugar and grape flavoring. How do we get there? How
do we get the taste for God's pure love and then love others and
accept love from others in that way?

A little further up the road

Hey guys it's been a couple of weeks, but I mean hey, when the inspiration hits you it just hits you. So Justin and I were discussing this weird blah like place you tend to get to in your walk, it's uncomfortable but its not highly emotional or exciting just discomfort and weirdness. So I don't know if any of you know what this is like but i'll explain.

The road between what is fulfilling and what is not is a a gray road, it is the blend of color between the black and the white. This all came about during the week that my vehicle was being fixed. I was having to succumb to the humility of catching rides here and there again. My schedule was not in my hands and I had a lot of time to think and hear God. During this time I felt so completely and utterly uncomfortable. I could'nt go talk to my best friend or the other person that I would usually call in times of needing a quick fix and emotional booster, I couldn't just go find somewhere to go because i was car-less. Then I started to think..... I said to myself and myself said "hmm" I said self would you be happy if you were having bff time right now? Self said "no i'd still have this discomfort"...Okay well self, would you be happy if you were back in the relationship you'd been longing for since it ended? Self said "nope not really, still have this icky discomforting feeling I think"...Okay well self would having your car back really take this discomfort away? "Nope still would be there actually"....Okay well I don't know what to do because those are the normal things that you do to escape your discomfort you find a mate and you cuddle and fill your time up with the affection of someone else, you call up your bff's and have meaningless or meaningful conversations for hours, you go to parties and shopping and you take your frustration out on the road and transfer your energy to the mileage you put on your car. You have a few drinks you watch junk tv for hours, and you hope when you wake up that the discomfort will be gone. But see I, at this point know that none of those carnal pleasures will fill up this little hole, they won't actually make the discomfort go away and I am so not about the emotional band-aids anymore. So then I turned around and I looked forward and I saw an unfamiliar road and I said "Self" and my self said "hmm" and I said "self, well what will make you happy?" and self said "that's the thing God is sending you on a quest for joy, happiness is no longer good enough for you."

To be continued........

Cherbear

This is where I was......

Hey friends, accountability buddies, family, kindred spirits, and fellow walkers with christ. I am seriously trying to handle too much emotionally and mentally and physically. Too much, and Im praying and reading and fasting and talking and when it boils down to it at the end of the day i cry and i physically hurt and I just cannot seem to do the right things towards healing. I am whole because when i tell you it's all connecting like crazy and in a state of wholeness it all hurts miserably together so im at harmony but im not at peace if that makes sense. I realized that wholeness means that all parts of you are connected and working together towards your spiritual walk, but through awareness I realize that it also means you will hurt 10x more in all areas because you can no longer function by muting or hiding certain parts of your pain.

I feel that life is bringing me to this place where I am so aware of the truth in so many relationships, friendships, situations etc. I see people for who they are and realized that i have loved most people for an idea that i had of them, and now im getting to a place where im selflessly trying to love my loved ones for who they are and not the mental and emotional box that i put them in. I also realize that i make people too perfect and too dedicated to me in my mind and no one can live up to those standards because they aren't realistic standards. In the grand scheme of things I am really not that important. But why do we crave that importancce in people's lives. Why is it so important to feel like you matter to someone. But on the flipside I think it's because people matter too much to me so I hold people to the standards of which i try to perform in their lives.

Erika and I were discussing depending on people to love you and it is so idealistic to believe that we are at this place where we can stand up and say "I only need God's love" But i think that's not the truth in any of us. I believe that we are all connected in life and with every bit of pain, suffering, death, misery, and even love that occurs in the world it effects us all because our spirits all come from God and therfore we are connected, and with that being said it is natural to want to be loved by others and give love to others, but the question is, what is the healthy amount and what is the unhealthy amount?

Anyway ya'll im struggling with the idea that now that I have removed my rose colored glasses I dont know what love looks like. I don't know if people love and appreciate me or just completely do not care about me. I don't know if every ideal and standard that I have ever set for myself is just completely B.S or am I really the person I think I am. Im struggling to fight my anger and pain from imaginary wars that I completely orchestrate in my mind. Ya'll this is really deeply disturbing and I can no longer hold it together I feel like im seriously cracking up inside

Anyway thanks for reading my long email.